- What was life like before recovery?
Dark, lonely and hopeless. Really sums it up as best as I can. Sick all the time. Drugs and alcohol had completely stopped working. Up to a handle a day, needed at least a fifth, and I was completely alone in life
- How did you find your way into recovery?
My then girlfriend kicked me out, and I reached out to my dad on her prompting and he came and picked me up. I literally texted him “I need help,” and that was it.
- What’s life in recovery been like?
I can best describe it as finally growing up. It’s been up and down, but the general trend has been positive, it’s been a process of learning about myself and coming to acceptance with the person that I am, kind of a journey of self-discovery.
- Do you have a message for the newcomer or people contemplating a change?
If you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it…
It can get better. It’s probably gonna be the hardest thing you ever do, it’s a challenge of consistency and intent. For me it was a process of learning how to be honest with myself.
- When in recovery did you find GFR?
I first found it when I was in rehab and thinking about immediately going back to school, it didn’t wind up working out that I could come back immediately after getting sober, but it was a resource that I was pretty interested in when I got myself in a position to finally come back to school. At first it was just a resource that I listed on my academic self-reflection that I would use to avoid getting back into the position that I was in originally, but I was attracted to just a good group of people with a desire to not use substance, and who were going through the same stuff I was going through.
- What’s your relationship with school like compared to before?
I treat it more as something that I GET to do. Before, school was a justification for my living expenses to be taken care of, and there’s still days that it’s like that, but now it’s more fulfilling a commitment I made years ago. Really, it’s part of making an amends with myself.
- What are some cool things you didn’t expect from recovery?
That I would find people that I could relate to at a really deep level, who shared the same patterns of thinking I had. That I could find acceptance of the way that I had behaved in addiction. That I could find a way to leverage my past experience to help somebody else, to give meaning to all of the suffering that I went through.
- What are some annoying/frustrating things you’ve encountered in recovery?
I don’t really think in that way as much anymore. Sometimes the normies [people not involved in recovery]. People that I perceive as not being honest or obviously [lying to] themselves like I used to and they can’t open their eyes, but I see that more as a me problem, as in me having trouble accepting them as they are. The most annoying part might be that I’m still the same person, and have to continually revisit the same problems of laziness, self-seeking behavior, still wanting to have things the exact way that I want. If there’s anything that drives me up the wall it’s myself.
- Anything else you’d like to add?
There’s no such thing as too far gone, and you don’t have to dig all the way down to rock bottom to earn recovery.